Bully Free Zone

We at DePaolo Middle School are committed to ensuring a safe and bully-free environment for the students at our school.

This webpage has been added to help parents talk to their children, students talk to other students, and teachers talk to the DePaolo Community about bullies and bullying.

No one has the right to be a bully or to be bullied.

Definition of BULLYING:

Bullying is when a stronger, more powerful person hurts or frightens a smaller or weaker person deliberately (on purpose) and repeatedly (again and again).

Adapted from The Bully Free Classroom, by Allan L. Beane, PH.D.,

Free Spirit works for kids Publishing, C. 1999.

Bullying True or False Checklist

1. Bullying is just teasing.

False. While many bullies tease, others use violence, intimidation, and other hostile tactics. Sometimes teasing can be fun; bullying always hurts.

2. Some people deserve to be bullied.
False. No one ever deserves to be bullied. No one "asks for it." Most bullies tease people who are "different" in some way. Being different is not a reason to be bullied.

3. Only boys are bullies.
Most bullies are boys, but girls can also be bullies.

4. People who complain about bullies are babies.
People who complain about bullies are standing up for their right not to be bullied. They're more grown-up than bullies are.

5. Bullying is a normal part of growing up.
If you think bullying is normal, you're less likely to say or do anything about it. Getting teased, picked on, pushed around, threatened, harassed, insulted, hurt, or abused is not normal.

6. Bullies will go away if you ignore them.
True & False.
Some bullies may go away. But others will get angry and keep bullying until they get a reaction.

7. All bullies have low self-esteem. That's why they pick on other people.
Some bullies have high self-esteem. They feel good about themselves, and picking on other people makes them feel even better. Most of the time, bullying isn't about high or low self-esteem. It's about having power over other people.

8. It's tattling to tell an adult when you're being bullied.
It's smart to tell an adult who can help you do something about bullying. It's also smart to tell an adult if you see someone else being bullied.

9. The best way to deal with a bully is by fighting or trying to get even.
If you fight with a bully, someone might get hurt. Plus, you might get into trouble for fighting. If you try to get even, you're acting the same way as the bully. And the bully might come after you again to get even with you. Either way only makes things worse.

10. People who are bullied might hurt for a while, but they'll get over it.
True & False.
It really depends on the person and how severe or prolonged the bullying is. But bullying can hurt for a long time. Many adults can remember all too well when they were bullied as children.

Adapted from The Bully Free Classroom, by Allan L. Beane, PH.D.,
Free Spirit works for kids Publishing, C. 1999.

Instead of Hurting Someone Back

20 Things to Do Instead of Hurting Someone Back

  1. STOP and THINK. Don’t do anything right away. Consider your options. Think about what might happen if you try to hurt the other person.
  2. Know that what you do is up to you. You can decide. You are in charge of your actions.
  3. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hurt someone else. Even if that person hurts me first.”
  4. Tell the person, “Stop that! I don’t like that!”
  5. Keep your hands to yourself. Make fists and put them in your pockets.
  6. Keep your feet to yourself. Jump or dance or stomp.
  7. Walk away or run away.
  8. Tell the person how you feel. Use an “I message.” Example: “I feel angry when you hit me because it hurts. I want you to stop hitting me.”
  9. Take a deep breath, then blow it out. Blow your angry feelings out of your body.
  10. Find an adult. Tell the adult what happened and how you feel.
  11. Count slowly from 1 to 10. Count backwards form 10 to 1. Keep counting until you feel your anger getting smaller.
  12. Think cool thoughts. Imagine that you’re sitting on an iceberg. Cool down your hot, angry feelings.
  13. Think happy thoughts. Think of something you like to do. Imagine yourself doing it.
  14. Treat the other person with kindness and respect. It won’t be easy, but give it a try. This will totally surprise the other person, and it might end the conflict between you.
  15. Draw and angry picture.
  16. Sing an angry song. Or sing any song extra loud.
  17. Remember that getting back at someone never makes conflict better. It only makes it worse.
  18. Take a time-out. Go somewhere until you feel better.
  19. Find another person to be with.
  20. Know that you can do it. You can choose not to hurt someone else. It’s up to you.

Adapted from The Bully Free Classroom, by Allan L. Beane, PH.D.,

Free Spirit works for kids Publishing, C. 1999.

Making and Keeping Friends

12 Tips for Making and Keeping Friends

  1. Reach Out. Don't always wait for someone else to make the first move. A simple hi and a smile go a long way.
  2. Get Involved. Join clubs that interest you. Take special classes inside or outside of school. Be a volunteer.
  3. Let people know that you're interested in them. Don't just talk about yourself; ask questions about them.
  4. Be a good listener. Look at people while they're talking to you. Pay attention to what they say.
  5. Risk telling people about yourself. When it feels right, let them in on your interests, your talents, and what's important to you. BUT...
  6. Don't be a show-off. Not everyone you meet will have your abilities and interests. (On the other hand, you shouldn't have to hide them - which you won't, once you find friends who like and appreciate you.)
  7. Be honest. Tell the truth about yourself, what you believe in, and what you stand for. When asked for your opinion, be sincere. Friends appreciate truthfulness in each other. BUT…
  8. Be kind. There are times when being tactful is more important than being totally honest. The truth doesn’t have to hurt.
  9. Don’t just use your friends as sounding boards for your problems. Include them in the good times, too.
  10. Do your share of the work. That’s right, work. Any relationship takes effort. Don’t always depend on your friends to make the plans and carry all the weight.
  11. Be accepting. Not all of your friends have to think and act like you do. (Wouldn’t it be boring if the did?)
  12. Learn to recognize the so-called friends you can do without. Some people get so lonely that they put up with anyone – including friends who aren’t really friends at all.

Adapted from The Bully Free Classroom, by Allan L. Beane, PH.D.,
Free Spirit works for kids Publishing, C. 1999.

Resources at DePaolo

Resources at DePaolo

Help yourself or someone else from bullies or from being bullied.

School Counselors

  • You can always come talk to the school counselor about any problem that you are having.

Teachers and Principals

  • Any staff member at DePaolo will help you if you are having a problem with a bully.

L.U.K. Boxes

  • Let Us Know (L.U.K) boxes are located in every hallway. If you are having a problem with a bully or you see someone else being bullied you can put an anonymous note in one of these boxes to be picked up by a school counselor.

Peer Mediators (students helping students)

Peer Advocates (students helping students)

SPS Bullying Policy